When I did this video, the first I thought of was you.
~But I would oso wanna dedicate this vid to my friends, Wendy, Janna, Ikki, Syasya and my dear lil mei Erica =] Hope you guys like it ^^Friday, June 24, 2011
Don't you see?
It's time you wake up, Vanessa. This is you calling you to wake up. The love given is sympathy, the friendships are bored people wanting a chat, the care is nothing but drama, the smiles are nothing but fakes.
Quit believing in everything you see. No one really cares bout you. They only PRETEND to care to make themselves less gulity, find someone to talk with, or make OTHER PEOPLE HAPPY.
This is life. Take it, or leave it.
You've lived so long like that. Now it's time to wake up and stop caring about love and care that never existed.
=]
Quit believing in everything you see. No one really cares bout you. They only PRETEND to care to make themselves less gulity, find someone to talk with, or make OTHER PEOPLE HAPPY.
This is life. Take it, or leave it.
You've lived so long like that. Now it's time to wake up and stop caring about love and care that never existed.
=]
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Questions
Some people ask, "what did I do to deserve this shit?" And they ask everyone. Saying how good they are and the contributions she made. All this time, they don't know people are snickering behind her and saying, " you think you so great? everyone don't like you!"
Just a piece of advice. This is what my dad always says to me. If one person complains about you, he has a problem. If everyone complains bout you. Then YOU have problems. Before you blame the whole world for what they've done to you, think of what you had done first. In the first place, do you treat people like shit? Do you say things that they don't understand? Do you brag about things that you don't even do? If you do, then that's the freakin reason everyone hates and complains and shun you from their lives.
Everyone deserves a chance, and you will have gotten many chances to. Some of this type of people (including me) blew their chances away.
Me, I'm not perfect, nor am I good in anything. But, I do not brag, or tells people stuff they don't understand. I don't tell people how good I am. And I hope they are okay with me. My friends, and family and stuff. Sometimes, I DO brag. Jokingly. Like I would say something like, "I'm gonna marry the prince, and be richer than anyone else! hahahahaha!!" Then, I will be like "jking lar... dun so serious xD"
The thing is... I know my faults. Just that, I don't change much. And do you know? Those people that have a strong feeling bout me, or have high hopes on me. They get all dissapointed. And I feel pressured. And I'll be like, " why do everyone have so high hopes on me?" Just to tell them, that everytime I feel you guys's dissapointment (etc. my teachers, parents, family, friends), I feel really really sad. All my life I've been trying to make people happy with me for once. And they'll say something like, "Good job Vanessa!" But that rarely happens. Coz no matter how hard I do something, I don't succeed. And people end up dissapointed. Again. haix~
Anyways, to the people that wonder why they got hated and complained, lets just say there's something you have to change inside of you. And you need time to make people trust and love you. Gambateh =]
Just a piece of advice. This is what my dad always says to me. If one person complains about you, he has a problem. If everyone complains bout you. Then YOU have problems. Before you blame the whole world for what they've done to you, think of what you had done first. In the first place, do you treat people like shit? Do you say things that they don't understand? Do you brag about things that you don't even do? If you do, then that's the freakin reason everyone hates and complains and shun you from their lives.
Everyone deserves a chance, and you will have gotten many chances to. Some of this type of people (including me) blew their chances away.
Me, I'm not perfect, nor am I good in anything. But, I do not brag, or tells people stuff they don't understand. I don't tell people how good I am. And I hope they are okay with me. My friends, and family and stuff. Sometimes, I DO brag. Jokingly. Like I would say something like, "I'm gonna marry the prince, and be richer than anyone else! hahahahaha!!" Then, I will be like "jking lar... dun so serious xD"
The thing is... I know my faults. Just that, I don't change much. And do you know? Those people that have a strong feeling bout me, or have high hopes on me. They get all dissapointed. And I feel pressured. And I'll be like, " why do everyone have so high hopes on me?" Just to tell them, that everytime I feel you guys's dissapointment (etc. my teachers, parents, family, friends), I feel really really sad. All my life I've been trying to make people happy with me for once. And they'll say something like, "Good job Vanessa!" But that rarely happens. Coz no matter how hard I do something, I don't succeed. And people end up dissapointed. Again. haix~
Anyways, to the people that wonder why they got hated and complained, lets just say there's something you have to change inside of you. And you need time to make people trust and love you. Gambateh =]
Thoughts~zzz
I had a thought yesterday. It's kinda weird, I'm thinking of wishing to God a few seconds before I die to have the nest life the same as this. Which is kinda weird, coz you would think I wanna be richer, and have parents that spoil and care about everything, and do not have any problems, and I have whatever Iphone or Ipad or whatever hell they have at the markets.
But, what I want is a life like what I am now. I mean, I don't know what will happen in the future, but my fourteen years of life had taught me a lot. Teaching me to control my emotions, stand on my own feet (well, except chores... I'm DAMN lazy xD) and be strong. In my life, there are a lot of people that had appeared to help me when there are problems I can't solve. There are also some people that I love so much and made a great impact in my life. And some bitches and morons that I made sure they dun go all bitchy or annoying on me. As for my problems, well, they taught me that everything and every problem is a challenge from God. And life is a game. As long as there is a problem, there will be a way out. You know the game at www.poptropica.com? There are adventures on every island, but there are ways to win the challenges they give you. As long as you don't give up. Life is kinda like that, except life is harder.
Today, I had another thought. Maybe, in my past life. I had the same thought as now. Before I die, I might have wished to God for a life like what i have now. Which is weird, coz that thought just floated in my mind. I have doubts about thins wish, coz I might die early, (touch wood) or have a shitty marriage (touch wood) or accidently killed someone (touch woodS). But so far, my fourteen years are nice =] So, let's just hope God heard me XD
But, what I want is a life like what I am now. I mean, I don't know what will happen in the future, but my fourteen years of life had taught me a lot. Teaching me to control my emotions, stand on my own feet (well, except chores... I'm DAMN lazy xD) and be strong. In my life, there are a lot of people that had appeared to help me when there are problems I can't solve. There are also some people that I love so much and made a great impact in my life. And some bitches and morons that I made sure they dun go all bitchy or annoying on me. As for my problems, well, they taught me that everything and every problem is a challenge from God. And life is a game. As long as there is a problem, there will be a way out. You know the game at www.poptropica.com? There are adventures on every island, but there are ways to win the challenges they give you. As long as you don't give up. Life is kinda like that, except life is harder.
Today, I had another thought. Maybe, in my past life. I had the same thought as now. Before I die, I might have wished to God for a life like what i have now. Which is weird, coz that thought just floated in my mind. I have doubts about thins wish, coz I might die early, (touch wood) or have a shitty marriage (touch wood) or accidently killed someone (touch woodS). But so far, my fourteen years are nice =] So, let's just hope God heard me XD
Friday, June 17, 2011
Same old... Same old..
Today, i trailed Ms. Pam for 15 min. Halfway, Pn. Bibi want me to do some errands for her. so me and Emily RAN up and RAN down and RAN up again. But it's okay, I sweated like hell, so good for kesihatan! XDD
If you are there and saw me trailing after Ms. Pam you will laugh like hell. I followed her, then I casually ask, "teacher, what are you doing?" She was actually, er... pouring mineral water into a plant. er.... okay... she's being kind... um... yeah.
Anyways, she KNEW I was following her. Either she don't know that she can shout, "I FOUND YOU VANESSA! YOU HAVE TO REDO!!!!! XDDD!" Or she sengaja dun wanna let me fail. So, when I asked her what is she doing, she's like, "uh.... I'm siraming, no menyiram.." She never finished that sentence coz I was like, "What?? WHAT??? How you KNOW???" And Emily was laughing her guts out... And I was so bewildered~ Then I was like, laughing too... and we ran away. The, I asked for Ms. Pam's signature. And she said thank you. and I was like, " shouldn't I be the one saying thank you?" And she was still saying thank you. Weird. I like it ^^ Just like me XDDDD
Yesterday, our whole thing came out in News Straits Times! Our whole project. In Niexter. When I brought it to school, my peeps were so happy. They ended up crumpling my paper -_- But luckily, my parents bought another wan. LOL And I was hugging the paper during perhimpunan. xDD Sayang la! they CRUMPLED IT.
Still, I'm damn happy that my friends were so happy. =D
Tomorrow is sports' day. I was supposed to be taking pics. And my teacher originally said she wanna pinjam me her camera. But she was sick. and I only hope she get well soon. Take care =]
BTW, if you're wondering why i am trailing after a teacher, it's for Pandu Puteri second exam. you have to follow a person for 15 minutes. That's one of the tests. But you gotta ask permission first. And don't worry. I did =] So don't get scared thinking I'm a stalker or anything. LOL
Sunday, June 12, 2011
The all stupid me
Have you ever felt so hurt? That when you try to cry, no tears come out?
And your heart feels like it's burst, and floated away leaving you painful?
Have you ever, be the first one EVERY TIME apologising in a fight?
Did you ever, jejaskan your maruah to help a friend?
I have, and that makes me the dumbest person on earth.
Seriously, in a fight between you and your friend, both of you got wrongs. She can easily apologise to you. Yet, I choose to apologise first. Ain't I dumb? I never regret doing it, coz not talking to someone hurts. maybe notto my friends, but to me. And I can't bear to see another disapproving face. I get enough disapprovals everyday. Not with me friends too! I mean, school is the only place I'm really happy at. The problem is, I hate it that I'm this kind of person. I do NOT know why God created me like that. I'm stupid, ain't I?
Sometimes, I get lodged temporarily into a midst of depression. That is when some of my friends totally stay away from me. They don't wanna help, they only need my help. That's what some of them are like. And when Im depressed, very little can please or make me happy. The whole world around me is darkness. Literally. Only when i step out of it, can i see sunlight or any light really brightly. And my heart feels like, I can't describe it. My soul is like floating away somewhere else. Only my empty shell of a body is moving.
Sometimes, I hate helping people. After I help them, they didn't even say thanks. That, I don't mind. but at least, don't leave me all alone. When you don't need me anymore. It's really hurting me. I don't show it. In fact, I hardly show anything much accept for joy. If I show, people will start nagging, adults will start fretting, people will start scolding. No thanks, I don't need the drama. Not many people can actually ask me to sit down and have a calming talk with me. Even my dad talks to me, but he makes me feel damn pressure sometimes. Coz he wants to let me know that only he is right. Most of the time...
And do you know? You are part of my soul, the thing that keeps me alive. Maybe you don't know how I feel. Like I said, not many people can feel what I'm really feeling. Only.. er.. none? xD Neways, if I could take out my heart, many people might feel surprised =] Even you... Just to let you now, yo're in my prayers everyday. And probably til the end of time.
I know I said I would not write anything sad here anymore. But I don't care.
Just call me avenging angel.
kthxbai =]
Even heaven is hell without the one you love... so why bother?
~Moon~
And your heart feels like it's burst, and floated away leaving you painful?
Have you ever, be the first one EVERY TIME apologising in a fight?
Did you ever, jejaskan your maruah to help a friend?
I have, and that makes me the dumbest person on earth.
Seriously, in a fight between you and your friend, both of you got wrongs. She can easily apologise to you. Yet, I choose to apologise first. Ain't I dumb? I never regret doing it, coz not talking to someone hurts. maybe notto my friends, but to me. And I can't bear to see another disapproving face. I get enough disapprovals everyday. Not with me friends too! I mean, school is the only place I'm really happy at. The problem is, I hate it that I'm this kind of person. I do NOT know why God created me like that. I'm stupid, ain't I?
Sometimes, I get lodged temporarily into a midst of depression. That is when some of my friends totally stay away from me. They don't wanna help, they only need my help. That's what some of them are like. And when Im depressed, very little can please or make me happy. The whole world around me is darkness. Literally. Only when i step out of it, can i see sunlight or any light really brightly. And my heart feels like, I can't describe it. My soul is like floating away somewhere else. Only my empty shell of a body is moving.
Sometimes, I hate helping people. After I help them, they didn't even say thanks. That, I don't mind. but at least, don't leave me all alone. When you don't need me anymore. It's really hurting me. I don't show it. In fact, I hardly show anything much accept for joy. If I show, people will start nagging, adults will start fretting, people will start scolding. No thanks, I don't need the drama. Not many people can actually ask me to sit down and have a calming talk with me. Even my dad talks to me, but he makes me feel damn pressure sometimes. Coz he wants to let me know that only he is right. Most of the time...
And do you know? You are part of my soul, the thing that keeps me alive. Maybe you don't know how I feel. Like I said, not many people can feel what I'm really feeling. Only.. er.. none? xD Neways, if I could take out my heart, many people might feel surprised =] Even you... Just to let you now, yo're in my prayers everyday. And probably til the end of time.
I know I said I would not write anything sad here anymore. But I don't care.
Just call me avenging angel.
kthxbai =]
Even heaven is hell without the one you love... so why bother?
~Moon~
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
This is not by me... I just ♥ this poem
一棵開花的樹 by 席慕蓉
--------------------------------------…
如何讓你遇見我
在我最美麗的時刻
為這
我已在佛前求了五百年
求佛讓我們結一段塵緣
佛於是把我化做一棵樹
長在你必經的路旁
陽光下
慎重地開滿了花
朵朵都是我前世的盼望
當你走近
請你細聽
那顫抖的葉
是我等待的熱情
而當你終於無視地走過
在你身後落了一地的
朋友啊
那不是花瓣
那是我凋零的心
Monday, June 6, 2011
Stuffs...
There's nothing wrong with loving someone...
The only problem is
That person doesn't love you back
~Moon~
Cutee rite =]]
The only problem is
That person doesn't love you back
~Moon~
This post is mainly for the people that wanna know about me. My boyfriend, friends... Whatever
1) I get grouchy when you guys kacau me or wake me up when I'm sleeping. Obviously, my prefect friends knows that coz they tried. And I got mad =]
2) I want a Canon DSLR =]] And I'm sure Kor Shyn Lyn, Windy Wang, Vivian Yen and Janna will buy me one for my next birthday... RIGHT GUYS? XDD~
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| I RAWR this cammy ^^ 3) I hate it when you guys tell me something. Then, knowing that I memang got ear problem and didn't hear you. Don't wanna tell me again >< Annoying tau! 4) The rest, figure it out yourself xD If you know me well... you will know what food I love to eat. Who is it that I pray for every nite. And etc. etc. 5) I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!! ^^ Btw, I LOVEEEE CUPIDO!!! |
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Again I say... Holidays sucks... >< Never loved and never will. But this time, mum and dad tried their best to amuse us tho =] mice change from other holidays =D neways, I amuse myself with writing my blog... Annoying people... And, um... HAVING FUN ^^
I don't mind going the camp again =DD haha... And meet that huge balck spider I named... JET
Oh... I know I'm annoying and weird =] But I like it ^^ Better than you anyway... YES YOU!
I didn't draw for a while d... Proving my weirdness... I took a picture of pads... yes PADS that day... so that I cn draw the pattern and elaborate on it. I didn't draw yet. And my hp no batt so I asked for my mum's hp... She was like, "wtf??" kind of expression. lols =DD
Damn~ I like Choy Siew Wern's art. She draw real life stuff so nicee~ me jealous d... xD nola... But my drawing is only limited to abstract stuffs so... HAIX!
Can't wait til school reopens =] I'm DAMN BORED! ><
Anyone who reads this... happy holidays ^^
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