Have you ever felt so hurt? That when you try to cry, no tears come out?
And your heart feels like it's burst, and floated away leaving you painful?
Have you ever, be the first one EVERY TIME apologising in a fight?
Did you ever, jejaskan your maruah to help a friend?
I have, and that makes me the dumbest person on earth.
Seriously, in a fight between you and your friend, both of you got wrongs. She can easily apologise to you. Yet, I choose to apologise first. Ain't I dumb? I never regret doing it, coz not talking to someone hurts. maybe notto my friends, but to me. And I can't bear to see another disapproving face. I get enough disapprovals everyday. Not with me friends too! I mean, school is the only place I'm really happy at. The problem is, I hate it that I'm this kind of person. I do NOT know why God created me like that. I'm stupid, ain't I?
Sometimes, I get lodged temporarily into a midst of depression. That is when some of my friends totally stay away from me. They don't wanna help, they only need my help. That's what some of them are like. And when Im depressed, very little can please or make me happy. The whole world around me is darkness. Literally. Only when i step out of it, can i see sunlight or any light really brightly. And my heart feels like, I can't describe it. My soul is like floating away somewhere else. Only my empty shell of a body is moving.
Sometimes, I hate helping people. After I help them, they didn't even say thanks. That, I don't mind. but at least, don't leave me all alone. When you don't need me anymore. It's really hurting me. I don't show it. In fact, I hardly show anything much accept for joy. If I show, people will start nagging, adults will start fretting, people will start scolding. No thanks, I don't need the drama. Not many people can actually ask me to sit down and have a calming talk with me. Even my dad talks to me, but he makes me feel damn pressure sometimes. Coz he wants to let me know that only he is right. Most of the time...
And do you know? You are part of my soul, the thing that keeps me alive. Maybe you don't know how I feel. Like I said, not many people can feel what I'm really feeling. Only.. er.. none? xD Neways, if I could take out my heart, many people might feel surprised =] Even you... Just to let you now, yo're in my prayers everyday. And probably til the end of time.
I know I said I would not write anything sad here anymore. But I don't care.
Just call me avenging angel.
kthxbai =]
Even heaven is hell without the one you love... so why bother?
~Moon~
And your heart feels like it's burst, and floated away leaving you painful?
Have you ever, be the first one EVERY TIME apologising in a fight?
Did you ever, jejaskan your maruah to help a friend?
I have, and that makes me the dumbest person on earth.
Seriously, in a fight between you and your friend, both of you got wrongs. She can easily apologise to you. Yet, I choose to apologise first. Ain't I dumb? I never regret doing it, coz not talking to someone hurts. maybe notto my friends, but to me. And I can't bear to see another disapproving face. I get enough disapprovals everyday. Not with me friends too! I mean, school is the only place I'm really happy at. The problem is, I hate it that I'm this kind of person. I do NOT know why God created me like that. I'm stupid, ain't I?
Sometimes, I get lodged temporarily into a midst of depression. That is when some of my friends totally stay away from me. They don't wanna help, they only need my help. That's what some of them are like. And when Im depressed, very little can please or make me happy. The whole world around me is darkness. Literally. Only when i step out of it, can i see sunlight or any light really brightly. And my heart feels like, I can't describe it. My soul is like floating away somewhere else. Only my empty shell of a body is moving.
Sometimes, I hate helping people. After I help them, they didn't even say thanks. That, I don't mind. but at least, don't leave me all alone. When you don't need me anymore. It's really hurting me. I don't show it. In fact, I hardly show anything much accept for joy. If I show, people will start nagging, adults will start fretting, people will start scolding. No thanks, I don't need the drama. Not many people can actually ask me to sit down and have a calming talk with me. Even my dad talks to me, but he makes me feel damn pressure sometimes. Coz he wants to let me know that only he is right. Most of the time...
And do you know? You are part of my soul, the thing that keeps me alive. Maybe you don't know how I feel. Like I said, not many people can feel what I'm really feeling. Only.. er.. none? xD Neways, if I could take out my heart, many people might feel surprised =] Even you... Just to let you now, yo're in my prayers everyday. And probably til the end of time.
I know I said I would not write anything sad here anymore. But I don't care.
Just call me avenging angel.
kthxbai =]
Even heaven is hell without the one you love... so why bother?
~Moon~
