Part of what you wanna know bout me

Family, friends and teachers.

You guys wanna know why I'm so close with Wang Sei Sei (Uh... maybe nt the teachers) 

I'll tell you.

Why the hell do I alk to her every night even though we spent all day in school?

Why do I always hang out with her?

I go everywhere with her.

No, we're not lesbians (No offense to lesbians)

No, we're NOT a couple

We are merely friends. 

It' just that we are close, coz we're binded by secrets.

And I'm close to her coz she's the only person in the whole universe to know most of my secrets.

And she is the one that backs me up when all of you are busy pointing out y faults.

But never wondering what causes my faults.

She's the one that advises me

And is the best counsellor not coz she tells me my good sides

It's coz she tells me the TRUTH

When all of you are spying, lying or telling empty truths to me.

In my most emoest moments.

She is there.

And if you think she is a bad influence, think again.

If she's not there, or you guys simply accuse us of doing things we did not do

There's no knowing what will happen to me.

You wanna know why?

Coz in front of everyone, I act like I'm feelingless

In front of my buddies, I act happy

I never let one drop of tear fall in front of you guys currently, did you guys realise?

I can control my feelings, but when to many things are cooped inside, they will break my metal walls.

And at that time, I can do anything.

Throw a fit? Kill some birds?

Even I don't know. =]

This post is not to rebel any of you

Or go against anybody's wishes.

It's to tell you what I feel.

And I'm not supporting Wang, coz she's my lesbian partner or an partner or she hypnotised me or whatever nonsense you're thinking

I'm supporting her coz,

When you are all blinded by my mistakes

She helped me live with all my unstable feelings

And while all of you hate me without finding a reason

She helps me find a path, even though it's a small one

To walk through another phase of my life.

Thx dude =]

And if any of you wanna find out bout me? Say it to my face. 

But if I tell you guys what I feel

Don't start getting defensive and upset.

I've had enough.

No one's gonna play with my feelings anymore

Period.

Current Affairs

  Life's been pretty tough lately. Nothing seems to go right. I don't mid mistakes. But I can't stand disappointment. It's like, claustrophobia, you know? It's a phobia like, when you are caged in a small place with no place to move. Yeah, I'm feeling that. Some things are just so confusing! The people I love most of all made me feel that way. Sometimes, I don't know if they care for me out of duty, love or sympathy.

  Tears well up sometimes. But somehow, after one or two drops I can't cry anymore. Maybe coz I'm used to not crying. Not even to myself. It's sort of like, building a thick wall of the strongest materials I can find so that nobody can hurt me, nobody can make me break down. But, you keep things from coming in, things inside you can't come out. It hurts... 

  Sometimes, I just wish I can write happier things in my blog. Sometimes, I also wish that I can fall asleep forever and think of nothing else...

Then maybe, my tears need not freeze in my heart and cause pain =] I'm young and might not understand love, but I do love very much..