放弃 (for those who don't understand chinese, it's give up) :)
I'm giving up. I mean like, wtf?? I don't even DARE to try. Yeah, i'm scared. scared that I will be pushed away again. I'm kinda used to it but everytime anyone pushes me away it's a bad experience. Anggap I don't want to remember you that way. Just anggap that the way I want to remember you is how happy you were once :) How your smile can make my deepest worries and sadness go away. :D My love to you is different from the love other friends are worrying about, breaking their hearts about. It looks the same. But it's not. You can call it affectionate love. And not romance love :3
Yeah, most of you will be like, who the hell is she talking bout?? So weird eh. Yala. My life memang weird wan what. I'm not expecting a normal life :) It's ok for me actually. It's just that it hurts alot these few days. No wonder I can't sleep. Hm,,, mostly it's just well... little pains. Currently it hurts so much. Hello. Mostly I can control my feelings. But just now when I saw "socks" in his "basket" I nearly like. Oh did I say nearly? I mean literally cried. The tears didn't flow though. Thank GOD. I'm in PUBLIC for goodness's sake. Thank GOD I have enough self control. I don't know, I guess I'm even more upset than I thought I was. Damn down the whole day.
Which is one of the reasons I'm giving up. Hey! Even if I'm good and things work out for what, two days? It sucks again after a while. If I'm bad. And it gets wrong. So what?? I'm still treated like a toy or whatever is it socks think I am. I don't think socks even LIKE me. Just using me. I hurt like hell today xD You're probably wondering wth can I be so calm about my hurt. Hey! That doesn't make me hurt any less you know? I'm just TRYING to cope with it. What? Just because I'm hurt doesn't mean EVERYONE around me have to be -.-
Haha. I'll admit part of the hurt comes from jealously :) Everyone gets to see your smile. While me? I get to see how you try your best NOT to smile at me. How you try to push me away. Hey! The way I see it. Even a blind person can see how obvious you are. I'm not stupid. You want me outta here? Fine. It's nearing the end anyway. I'll keep my distance. I don't mind (No, actually I mind like hell -.-) But at least it makes you happy *shrugs* Guess I can do it. But I'll still be jealous. And everytime I see you being nice to someone else like you were to me in the future. My heart will be like a million unbelievably sharp arrows shooting into it. Whatever tho.... Guess time is the healer :)
Time makes it easier for you to cope, but it never heal the pain in your heart :)
From today. I'm not gonna try anymore. I'm gonna just let it flow. Never mind the hurt. It's just hurt.
Enjoy :)) The pain xD
I never like to share pain though. It's nice making people happy :)
I'm giving up. I mean like, wtf?? I don't even DARE to try. Yeah, i'm scared. scared that I will be pushed away again. I'm kinda used to it but everytime anyone pushes me away it's a bad experience. Anggap I don't want to remember you that way. Just anggap that the way I want to remember you is how happy you were once :) How your smile can make my deepest worries and sadness go away. :D My love to you is different from the love other friends are worrying about, breaking their hearts about. It looks the same. But it's not. You can call it affectionate love. And not romance love :3
Yeah, most of you will be like, who the hell is she talking bout?? So weird eh. Yala. My life memang weird wan what. I'm not expecting a normal life :) It's ok for me actually. It's just that it hurts alot these few days. No wonder I can't sleep. Hm,,, mostly it's just well... little pains. Currently it hurts so much. Hello. Mostly I can control my feelings. But just now when I saw "socks" in his "basket" I nearly like. Oh did I say nearly? I mean literally cried. The tears didn't flow though. Thank GOD. I'm in PUBLIC for goodness's sake. Thank GOD I have enough self control. I don't know, I guess I'm even more upset than I thought I was. Damn down the whole day.
Which is one of the reasons I'm giving up. Hey! Even if I'm good and things work out for what, two days? It sucks again after a while. If I'm bad. And it gets wrong. So what?? I'm still treated like a toy or whatever is it socks think I am. I don't think socks even LIKE me. Just using me. I hurt like hell today xD You're probably wondering wth can I be so calm about my hurt. Hey! That doesn't make me hurt any less you know? I'm just TRYING to cope with it. What? Just because I'm hurt doesn't mean EVERYONE around me have to be -.-
Haha. I'll admit part of the hurt comes from jealously :) Everyone gets to see your smile. While me? I get to see how you try your best NOT to smile at me. How you try to push me away. Hey! The way I see it. Even a blind person can see how obvious you are. I'm not stupid. You want me outta here? Fine. It's nearing the end anyway. I'll keep my distance. I don't mind (No, actually I mind like hell -.-) But at least it makes you happy *shrugs* Guess I can do it. But I'll still be jealous. And everytime I see you being nice to someone else like you were to me in the future. My heart will be like a million unbelievably sharp arrows shooting into it. Whatever tho.... Guess time is the healer :)
Time makes it easier for you to cope, but it never heal the pain in your heart :)
From today. I'm not gonna try anymore. I'm gonna just let it flow. Never mind the hurt. It's just hurt.
Enjoy :)) The pain xD
I never like to share pain though. It's nice making people happy :)
