Life's been pretty tough lately. Nothing seems to go right. I don't mid mistakes. But I can't stand disappointment. It's like, claustrophobia, you know? It's a phobia like, when you are caged in a small place with no place to move. Yeah, I'm feeling that. Some things are just so confusing! The people I love most of all made me feel that way. Sometimes, I don't know if they care for me out of duty, love or sympathy.
Tears well up sometimes. But somehow, after one or two drops I can't cry anymore. Maybe coz I'm used to not crying. Not even to myself. It's sort of like, building a thick wall of the strongest materials I can find so that nobody can hurt me, nobody can make me break down. But, you keep things from coming in, things inside you can't come out. It hurts...
Sometimes, I just wish I can write happier things in my blog. Sometimes, I also wish that I can fall asleep forever and think of nothing else...
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