Anthony Neely - Sorry That I Loved You

~i love this song so much coz it totally reflects my feelings...
But no regrets...
Hapi to meet you
I'll always pray for you in my dreams~
Gambateh

♥

Swt-.-||

What is wrong with you:
1)You should realise that, despite your popularity among the elder people in the school... you are  totally NOT respected by everyone in your class....
2) Therefore, we will not listen to whatever choice you wanna make that doesn't make sense.
3) I, am not like the elder people in our school that will pamper you, listen to you... and give you all the popularity and things you need. They treat you like gold or diamonds, but don't forget I treat everyone like a human. A NORMAL human.
4) This school don't always treat the leaders like they rule everything. I will NOT listen to you even if you are a leader and yet you give dumb advice.
5) REMEMBER~ you might get liked by people now. Or people are just PRETENDING to like you... but that might not happen in the future. You life has just started...
6) Everyone had tried at least ONCE to like you and be your friend, the people that don't like you has their own reasons. It's probably your attitude. I had tried. MANY times to be your friend. But everytime, you bombed up your chance. I really hate to hate people. So don't worry, i don't hate you coz there are enough people to be hated in this wordl without hating you.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Today is the worst day of exams in my life. My sejarah and math exam sucks.... I'm SO failing this test... (touch wood)
__________________________________________________________________________________
I think my art teacher and my english teacher and my ex sejarah teacher is kinda cool^^
~trust me, it's a compliment coz seriously, i don't compliment teachers...
__________________________________________________________________________________
~Life is colourful in the midst of darkness....
*created this phrase for my seni homework^^ XD
__________________________________________________________________________________

Misunderstood~ and existence

  Seriously, I don't know what to do to you... So, for the time being, I'll act as though you do not exist in my life... And i hope you will act as though I'm invisible too.
Oh, BTW. Stop picking at me, if you think I care whether YOU like me or not... I don't. And no one else in this school cares anything about you accept how much they hate and despise you.
Look at your own reflection in the mirror before you start judging others. You are seriously not that bad.... Others might look at your outer appearance, but i mainly focus on personalities. If you can't show a good personality and professional enough to not express your feelings in a class... then, trust me... I will respect you more.
~To those who do not know who I am talking about, it's "The Egg" and if you still dun understand, ask me in school^^
  And no, I do not hate HER after she scolded us that day coz I feel she is... umm... a human? Seriously, I never really noticed her before. To me, she is "the-sweet-teacher-that-keeps-smiling-at-everyone". Now, she's "the-teacher-that-i-will-respect-as-she-proved-her-worth-to-me". Hehe~ before this, I can look at her freely as though she's just a freakin brick wall. Now, looking at her, I can feel... umm... a teensy bit of radiation of confidence radiating from her... LolxDD
~If you dunno who I'm talking about, ask me in school or Facebook...^^
Anyways~
  I'm not mad at you for scolding me in front of the whole club anymore... I was before this... but i hate hating people and since i already dislike someone.... i do not wanna dislike you anymore...  Waste of time and energy.... So, to all who knows about this... PEACE OUT^^
~ To all my frens that helped me when I am in my most sad and depressed, LOVE you guys SO much!!! I will DEFINITELY do the same to you!! MUAKS^^
P.S> I scared GEOGRAPHY EXAM!!!!!!!><
P.P.S> test week, anyone up for jumping down a building? hahaxDD

*** I noe all teachers hate me... but this post isn't to critisize anyone. Just to tell pple what I feel.... So, if anyone feel insulted by this,DON'T. Coz this is the only place where I can express my feelings in words so don't ruin it for me... if by any chance. Any teachers see this, you can choose to continue hating me.. I can't do anything...so zzzzz~

Depression

  Umm, seriously~ what can a teenage girl rite about except school, unusual cravings for Domo-Kun^^

This is a Domo-Kun... in case you are wondering...

 And how she survive middle school without slitting her hands or committing suicide(close, but not yet).

Since this is my blog, I am not going to be private or anything. So I am just going to say...

I DUN RELI LIKE MY SEJARAH TEACHER!!!!

You can say I am rude, I do not respect teachers... But I am sure every single student in my school hates her. Why do I hate her?

~She said I was kpc... 

I wasn't even talking to her!! SHEESH!!!

~She said she don't wanna give me sijil coz I said it's just a piece of paper.

It IS a piece of paper -.-|| Anyway, it's not really her choice...

I know, if she sees this... or anyone... I am in deep shit... but I wanna point out tht this is MY blog... I can write ANYTHING i want...

I am NOT insulting her... Nor am I trying to make people hate her... I's just my feelings... ya know~ So don't misunderstand....

Neways, I am stressed about exams, plus some other stuff... seriously, I'm gettng desperate.

I've never really felt that sad before in my life. I never thought a day would come when I actually knew the feelings of the people that commited suicide(dun worry, the feeling is under control... i'm not killing myself). I realised that, when the person is really desperate, you don't really care about life anymore. You feel like, happiness errupting when you think about ending it. However, based on my experience, you just need to oush all those things aay. Have a cry... in front of your friends... in public. Whatever. But you will be able to overcome the feeling.. Like me.

   Think about it, you have the courage to commit suicide, slit your wrists.. but you don't have enough courage to cry in public? voice it out? express it? The first few stages are tough. But God created us with hope... so long as you believe in yourself, the pain will end. Soon, things will get better, life will seem bearable. You will wonder why had you ever thought of killing yourself? No, your pain won't dissapear, but it will lessen. No, you won't commit suicide because you force yourself to... you live because you don't have a reason to die.

~Dying for someone is worthless... living for someone is what makes the world go round. If i die everytime i face a problem in every life i have... Then, I will die a lot of times...

*I do not know if you agree... it's a great experience, really. To feel so depressed you don't wanna do anything except cry. But lived through it and tell the story. You might think I am strong, but no... I am not. Every human can cope with that. It's whether you want it, or not. You might think I am not hurt enough, maybe... but trust me. I never felt this depressed before in my life.

♥ It's up to you... to determine if this post is useless... or will it help?

Seriously....

  Ok, this post is mainly about my stupid Sejarah teacher... I'm not gonna say the name in case she perasan again but everyone knows her as.... Granma...^^
One day, we were having sejarah wiv her... she got mad coz wen she asked a question, no one noes... so she said, "oh, Mei Yen surely noe wan.. her last exam got 99%!! (typically her). We didn't say anything... but my friend Goh said, "I also noe wat teaher...!" She dun reli know, she's actually joking... but the teacher took her seriously, when Goh didn't give her the answer, she said. "I know what you are thinking..." The rest of the conversation look like this...
Granma: I know what you girls i thinking...
Us: Stares quietly at her... (we aren't scared... just bored =.=") 
Granma: I see your face i know what you girls are thinking d
~She stares at us a long time before saying...
Granma: I know what you are thinking....
Kor: looks exasperatingly at me while sighing dramatically... with a "this is so swt" kind of expression...
Me: puts on a dramatically "i have suffered all my life face" and sighs back at kor
  Dat was wen the granma said:
"siapa nak cakap kat depan?" (i am laughing my guts out wen typing this) "saya memang seorang yang pemurah baik hati, dan tidak mudah merajuk"
  The whole class was trying damn hard not to laugh out loud!!!!! Dat was like, the funniest thing an adult could ever  say to me>< seriously! how can a lady be so perasan!!? And she told us she is 30 years older than us... i counted... apparently, she's 40sumthing... but no offence, she look older than my granma><
  Then, when the prefects, including me. Went out for duty... i purposely shouted, "TERIMA KASIH CIKGU!!!!!" My fren Wang was like, "Why are you shouting?" N i said, "I wana show my appreciation for the teacher that's PEMURAH, BAIK HATI DAN TIDAK MUDAH MERAJUK!!" (yes, i shouted the cap locked words) Actually, she said my fren Goh din call her cikgu when she asked her something, but she obviously did!! the Granma is damn deaf =.="
 Since then, she's a really nice target for imitating, which is my hobby^^ i flip my two ponytails (yes =.=" i have to ponytails in skul) while saying the pemurah thing... Getting stitches in my frens' sides^^ 
  Neways, i really hate the Car Book Press teacher, but i think i hate granma more... - - She's useless.. tick the funny box below if you agree dat both of them         sucks = =
                  3                    3

Teachers...

  This year, we have a whole new bunch of new teachers... most of the new teahers teach me. Some of them taught me last year. here's a list of them... (and their descriptions, of course^^)


Pn. Bibi~BM: i realised she's kinda ok, to me anyways... most pple hate her =) 
Pn. Jeya~ENG: new teacher^^ i like her alot! she's really kind. She will be the 
                     teacher fan of SMKCBW. probably wins ms.pam
Pn. Maizura~MT: still doesn' notice me much, unless she wants me to clean the
                        blackboard... =.=" not that i care... she's a creep
Pn.Syopiah~ SC: ok, i guess... i prefer pn.jam coz she speaks english better... 
                        but she's kinda nice(whoa.... first time i say that to a teacher
                        ... BETTER THANK ME PN.SYOPIAH!!)
Pn.Farhana~ KHB: My form teacher too... like last year.. She's not as sweet as 
                          when i first met her... But to me, she's cute^^
Pn.Hanizah~KHB: i have two KHB teachers.... she's the kindest teacher ever... 
                         but do't really have  sense of humour...
Pn.Norhayati~new teacher PJK: umm... no comment... i dun reli like her...
Pn. Kow Yud Eng~new teacher SEJ: This is the boringest teacher ever to set 
                          foot in the history of teaching!!!! She can make the whole
                          class keep quiet... but not coz we're scared of her... more 
                          like all of us are dozing off... Someone SACK HER!!!!
Pn.Chia Sew An~new teacherPM: ok lar... boring person.... Lee Sue Ann's "kan 
                        "kan ma" ^^ heehee
Pn.Aminah~GEO: sweet pn.aminah ^^ still boring tho...

List of teacher i like..(teach me wan) start fr num 1!!^^
~Pn.Jeya^^
~Pn. Farhana
~Pn.Hanizah
~Pn.Aminah
~Pn.Bibi 
~forgot that PSK teacher name
~ Pn. Norhayati
~Pn. Chia Sew An
~Pn. Kow Yud Eng

=Dats all!!^^

Havoc today... SMKCB ORIENTATION (VS) SHOPPING^^

  Woke up at 6.30 a.m.. Walks blurrily to brush my teeth and bathe... etc. etc. The onteresting strts when i reached school~

Mei Yen was there with Carolyn....

I went to them. At that time, no one was there accept the three of us and a form 1 kid which i forgot the name of. She went and checked out the bilik warisan while i nudged Carolyn and said, "hope she doesn't find any of the ghosts rumored in there or I will NOT save her... lolxD!" Then, Mei Yen and Carolyn started laughing.

Here comes the funny part... don't get offended liewey^^

  Mei Yen starte batting the mosquitoes that keep stinging her... They wouldn't go away... She was forced to resort to...

                MOSQUITO EXTERMINATION!!

She killed seven mosquitoes, and was so proud of herself =.=". and I was like, "Mei Yen, you're good in BM, ENGLISH, MATH, SCIENCE, SEJARAH, GEOGRAFI and NOW you took up mosquito exterminating??? Is there SOMETHING you're NOT good at???" 

Then, Lee came... We hung out a while, then *scary music in the background*

Ms.Pamela ARRIVED 

The first thing she did was come to our group, smiling AGAIN... seriously, her smile creeps me out coz somehow, i would want to smile too and laugh whenever she smiles at me T.T (sheesh) she has a weird charm on me...

Neways, she called me to be her camerawoman... no such luck... when yam yee ling came... she passed the camera back to her T.T wtf did she call me to do and then make me geram saje... haizzz....

Nothing much after that. THEN we are forced by Pn. Yasmin to  greet all the parents and tell them what to do... Example,

"Excuse me, dah register belum? kalau sudah, boleh tengok class daughter kamu kat board sana dan masuk dewan"

~kindly notice the Malaysian language (heehee)

Then, after that we hung around, bored... and decide to go Sunway afterwards^^

But before that, I have to take care of 1E. Seriously, it's damn hard to call them to LINE UP TWO BY TWO.

I think they are confused =.="

THEN, i have to call them to walk in the right direction but they WALKED IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION!!!!! dammit@.@

I'm still wondering what kind of a prefect will i be~~

One word

"SUFFER" 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

oK,

NOW THE SHOPPING TRIP...

I have some pics^^ 

 me and mei in the toilet^^ hahaxD

   I seriously LOVE THESE GLASSES... lolxD!!!

I went there and bought the mvie tickets. Then i WAITED FOR SO DAMN LONG BECAUSE MY TWO DEAR MEIS... Christinna Kuan and Wang Sei Sei came late=.=" I feel like an idiot walking around the mall alone T.T

Neways, we went to find a bag for me but failed miserably...== Then I played chris's iphone... it has a remarkably cute cat that will copy whatever you say... HAHAXD!!! 

We went and watched TRON. The movie's ending is nice... but the starting is kinda boring... the high tech stuffs is cool though... Chris actually bought KFC into the movie hall =.=" and i was forced to keep it in my bag for her. haiz.... ma huan lorh!! haha ^^

Neways, today was kinda fun^^ and i learnt Chris likes DOMOS!!!! HAHAXD she fretted the whole day just coz she bought a domo pouch from Love Story and then saw the one in MINI TOONS that is nicer and bought both at last.... =.=" not surprising... she's damn rich!! XD rite chris?

Conclusion: today was fun^^