Trip to Butterfly Farm

Okay, no time to be emo. I just wanna tell bout this trip. THEN i'll think about being emo =]
Taking pics are fun. Enough to take my mind away from emo stuff for a day ^^

It's... uhh doing things that a normal butterfly will do xD

Here are the pics =DD

I like this butterfly =] One of my favourites.

TARANTULAAAAA!!!!! XD

That's my bro's hand. He's shaking like hell and damn scared. LOL

Nice riteee??? I mean the butterfly =D

I damn love this. My mum saw and was like, WAH! so nice! take a pic of it. =] I

This is me =] DUH~ I look like a girl with wings protruding outta my back ><

This is a Malaysian Giant Millepede :3

Er... I think it's called a... um. I forgot. xD

Look like pearls :D
I enjoyed this trip~

I totally enjoyed this trip! The butterflies are all around. I was scared at first. But after a while, it was OK =]

Anyways, my mum saw a butterfly somewhere on our trip. And she wantd to take a pic of it. But she was yelling excitedly that the butterfly flew away =D HAHA. Too excited

All in all, this is a time where I really took all the pics that I wanted. These are the few ones that I loved most. Hope you like it :D

kthxbai~ =]

Part of what you wanna know bout me

Family, friends and teachers.

You guys wanna know why I'm so close with Wang Sei Sei (Uh... maybe nt the teachers) 

I'll tell you.

Why the hell do I alk to her every night even though we spent all day in school?

Why do I always hang out with her?

I go everywhere with her.

No, we're not lesbians (No offense to lesbians)

No, we're NOT a couple

We are merely friends. 

It' just that we are close, coz we're binded by secrets.

And I'm close to her coz she's the only person in the whole universe to know most of my secrets.

And she is the one that backs me up when all of you are busy pointing out y faults.

But never wondering what causes my faults.

She's the one that advises me

And is the best counsellor not coz she tells me my good sides

It's coz she tells me the TRUTH

When all of you are spying, lying or telling empty truths to me.

In my most emoest moments.

She is there.

And if you think she is a bad influence, think again.

If she's not there, or you guys simply accuse us of doing things we did not do

There's no knowing what will happen to me.

You wanna know why?

Coz in front of everyone, I act like I'm feelingless

In front of my buddies, I act happy

I never let one drop of tear fall in front of you guys currently, did you guys realise?

I can control my feelings, but when to many things are cooped inside, they will break my metal walls.

And at that time, I can do anything.

Throw a fit? Kill some birds?

Even I don't know. =]

This post is not to rebel any of you

Or go against anybody's wishes.

It's to tell you what I feel.

And I'm not supporting Wang, coz she's my lesbian partner or an partner or she hypnotised me or whatever nonsense you're thinking

I'm supporting her coz,

When you are all blinded by my mistakes

She helped me live with all my unstable feelings

And while all of you hate me without finding a reason

She helps me find a path, even though it's a small one

To walk through another phase of my life.

Thx dude =]

And if any of you wanna find out bout me? Say it to my face. 

But if I tell you guys what I feel

Don't start getting defensive and upset.

I've had enough.

No one's gonna play with my feelings anymore

Period.

Current Affairs

  Life's been pretty tough lately. Nothing seems to go right. I don't mid mistakes. But I can't stand disappointment. It's like, claustrophobia, you know? It's a phobia like, when you are caged in a small place with no place to move. Yeah, I'm feeling that. Some things are just so confusing! The people I love most of all made me feel that way. Sometimes, I don't know if they care for me out of duty, love or sympathy.

  Tears well up sometimes. But somehow, after one or two drops I can't cry anymore. Maybe coz I'm used to not crying. Not even to myself. It's sort of like, building a thick wall of the strongest materials I can find so that nobody can hurt me, nobody can make me break down. But, you keep things from coming in, things inside you can't come out. It hurts... 

  Sometimes, I just wish I can write happier things in my blog. Sometimes, I also wish that I can fall asleep forever and think of nothing else...

Then maybe, my tears need not freeze in my heart and cause pain =] I'm young and might not understand love, but I do love very much..

Without experiencing darkness, there will be no appreciating light

Without knowing you, I wouldn't know what's love~♥♥

What it's like to be cared for and not just caring for others :|

What it's like to be seen and not just seeing people =D

How your heart squeezes in pain every time you ignore me ='[

And how it swells up and makes me smile every time you smile =]

How happy I get when you are truly happy and not just freaking acting =']

Even if I have to be sad just to make you happy ='D

But,

If you don't really care,

Don't f*king pretend to care

Coz when you decide to move on, ignore me, and hurt me

I dun f*king just sit down and let you do it

And if you think by ignoring me, you can make me change and my troubles over,

You are wronger than me buying the stupid necklace

And I don't f*king care whether you like it or not if I use bad words

I'm tired of letting people I love leave me and ignore me and hurt me

Conclusion: If you don't f*king care for me, don't act as though you do.

And if you don't wanna care about me, say it to my face

You not happy with me, tell it straight to me

Don't need to hide it to yourself. 

I can move one, but not if you keep making me happy when you care and then make me sad again when you don't feel like it. 

I AM NOT A TOY

I will not let myself be controlled or puppeted by you.

Remember that, when I love someone... 

I will do everything for that person

But if you wanna make me hurt again and again

I ain't letting you bully me.

PERIOD

Currently, I don't have much to write. I haven't posted stuff for sometime coz I'm not really in the mood. I am IN A BAD MOOD! >< Probably coz there is no one around when I need them. And I'm getting pretty sick of being there for people all the time. It seems they just dissapear when i need them. I hate it. It makes me feel like, as my problems are just stupid and childish while everybody else's is important. 
And I am starting to hate the fact that some people care just because they want to change me. Not for who I am -___- Seriously, I getting tired liao =X U want to change me, I dun know what to say. But don't act as if you guys care and then suddenly ignore me. It hurts me, of course it don't hurt you.

I just love this song -___- 

♥Made for dunno how long

  When I did this video, the first I thought of was you. 

~But I would oso wanna dedicate this vid to my friends, Wendy, Janna, Ikki, Syasya and my dear lil mei Erica =] Hope you guys like it ^^

Don't you see?

It's time you wake up, Vanessa. This is you calling you to wake up. The love given is sympathy, the friendships are bored people wanting a chat, the care is nothing but drama, the smiles are nothing but fakes.
Quit believing in everything you see. No one really cares bout you. They only PRETEND to care to make themselves less gulity, find someone to talk with, or make OTHER PEOPLE HAPPY. 
This is life. Take it, or leave it.
You've lived so long like that. Now it's time to wake up and stop caring about love and care that never existed. 

=]